OK Derby Lovers.. As some of you know, I feed on derby drama. Derby drama is what keeps things interesting in the Arizona derby scene. Most of the derby drama is unpleasurable to talk about but I think in the spirit of the holidays and due to the fact that 2008 was a very rocky year in derby, I feel obligated to talk about the hottest drama taking place right now. I am of course talking about HOLLY WOULD's ass.
AZRD
Yes, Holly Would's ass. Apparently it was a major subject of discussion on the AZRD league business list and this said derby drama has leaked over to the AZRD public list. Apparently, the general welfare of Holly Would's ass is of great concern to Beater MESSY MISSY who suggested that she contact IVANNA S. PANKIN and get a pair of bum-savers from SIN CITY SKATES because she was going to need them.
Well, where this is going is some good trash-talking that flowed from league business to the public eye for the upcoming AZRD Charity Bout this Saturday at the Castle Sports Club. AZRD will shuffle into two teams including the HOSE DRAGGERS, who will include Holly Would as a part of their team. They will be playing the STREET BEATERS who will have (you guessed it!), Messy Missy.
This is a firefighters vs. police themed game with the proceeds going to support the Law Enforcement Emerald Society. This is a organization that supports those first responders who are in the Irish-American community.
But let's take a look at the rosters for each team:
HOSE DRAGGERS: Diana Saurus Wrexx (C), Jessie Dahmer, Holly Would, Psycho Sybil, Lace Oddity, Sauce Box, Diabolique, Joby Wan'n'Only, Rayna Rage, Gratutious Violet, Certified Luna Chick, Loco Lena and Boxcar Betty.
STREET BEATERS: Shirley Demise (C), Sweet Candy Cannons, Yellow Fever, Chachi Patron, Dark Ajenda, Dutch Bag, Messy Missy, Jugs Bunny, Shedonist, Destructo Kitty, Bonesetter, Cutthroat KC, Bea Naughty and Domiskatrix.
OK now with that in mind and with all due respect to all of the skaters on each team, let's narrow down these lists a little bit:
Hosers: Diana, Holly, Sybil, Rayna, Violet, Luna Chick and Loco Lina.
Beaters: Shirley, Dark Ajenda, Missy, Shedonist, Destucto Kitty, Bonesetter and Domiskatrix.
I seriously think that the Street Beaters definitely have the advantage where it comes to jamming here. The Hose Draggers make up for it in the blocking department.
Those who know me know that I am very jammer focused and I will lean to the team with the stronger jamming because even with some of the best blocking out there, I have noticed that some jammers tend to pull it off.
Both teams are very strong and well balanced, but as far as predictions go, Holly, the phone number is 619-232-4200. Call TRISH and see if she will FedEx a pair of BumSavers to you in time for Saturday. You know I still love you my friend <3 (*^u^*)
STREET BEATERS by 30-50.
TRD
We are still awaiting news from TRD regarding their 2009 home team schedule. Here's what I can tell you. The first night will be on February 7. This night will include multiple "mini-bouts" where all 4 teams will play and I just found out that these games WILL count towards standings. Also the same night, we will have the Tucson Derby Brats playing against the Los Angeles Junior Dolls. The Brats were out in LA earlier this year and many of them got a chance to try out the banked track. When I talked to the Brats a couple of months ago about it, they had a lot of fun out there. We will have some info on the Brats on the next episode of REAL Derby due out by the end of the year.
I have heard from reliable sources that TRD will be having bouts once every 3 weeks and plans to end their season in June before it gets really hot inside that summertime sauna called Bladeworld.
Congratulations to VENUS DYNAMITE, the new team captain of the SADDLETRAMPS. There will be some tryouts coming up for the Tramps and hopefully we should have a 2009 Tramp roster by the end of the year.
MICHICHAN.COM
Notice the new website? We are now using a modified version of CCLeague Pro, which is a sports content management application designed originally for soccer teams but I have spent the past two days modifying it for derby. So far, it looks good. There is some skater stat functionality that will be in there.. I would love to get some participation from AZRD and TRD this year to share their stats so we can include them there. We shall see.
DERBY LOVE TOUR
We'll see you this Saturday at the Castle for the last DLT stop of the year when we watch to see how many AZRD skaters will be posing for their family X'mas photos with a big rink rash on their hip. (but then again, why would they be exposing their hips for family holiday photos anyway?... oh well).
We'll hopefully be talking before then but in case we don't, have a Happy Holiday, Happy Haunakkah, Happy Kwanzaa, Ramadan Karim (even though that was last month), Happy Boxing Day, Merii Kurisumasu but most importantly, HAPPY NEW YEAR! May 2009 bring the fun back into derby for both the skaters and the fans.
SKATE HARD
SKATE SAFE
DERBY LOVE
MICHI-CHAN
=m
Recovered from MCRSP records, December 4, 2025.
