PHOENIX, AZ - July 12, 2008 - Additional chairs were brought into the Castle Sports Club in anticipation of a higher than usual sales of presale tickets. The Arizona Derby Dames did sell out the house and those who were lucky to get in were in for two major treats. In the evening's doubleheader, the number 1 ranked Brutal Beauties will defend their 3-season undefeated record against the substantial underdog number 5 Bombshells while the School Yard Scrappers will take on this year's expansion team, The Runaway Brides to determine in a match that will determine positioning for the semi-final bout on September 20.
While both bouts were very exiciting, the mix of the cooling system inside the Castle Sports Club as well as the summer monsoon season here in Arizona had made for a very hot and sticky environment inside the Castle, especially for fans who decided to sit on the rink level. By the time that the second half of the Beauties vs. Bombshells bout started, many fans have moved to the area behind the glass or have left the facility. Those who left, definitely missed out on two very exciting second halves.
This doubleheader did feature the bouting debut of the recently drafted fresh meat skaters including several girls from the former Arizona Bruisers/Phoenix City Rollers.
BRUTAL BEAUTIES VS. BOMBHSELLS
In this bout, the Brutal Beauties were very heavily favored. The AZDR predicted that the Beauties would win by 80-100. The Brutal Beauties had introduced new skaters Boutin and Nurse Ratchet, formerly of the Arizona Bruisers. We also saw the return of Marci De Sade, who recently gave birth. The Bombshells introduce several new skaters including Rough Rider, Pocket Beaner, Sho'Nuff and former Arizona Bruiser, Nacho Girlfriend.
FIRST HALF
The first half was dominated by the Beauties and was reminicent to previous Bombshell bouts this year. In the first jam, we saw the AZDD debut of Bombshell jammer Nacho Girlfriend. Despite being teamed up on by Madam and Red Rocker, Nacho was able to score 4 however Celeste, jamming for the Beauties was able to answer those 4 points.
Despite the 4-4 tie after the first jam, it started to go in the direction of the Beauties. In the next jam, Beauty jammer Rogue Kill manages to score 7 points while Bombshell Prima Donna gets knocked into the Bombshell bench then Beauty Co-Captain Sally Whacker breezes through to break and score 7 while Bombshell Joja Peach meets a pink wall named Madam. Celeste will then ride for another 3 points leaving Shell jammer Hippies Revenge in the dust. Red Rocker gives Pocket Beaner her initiation into the Dames by showing why she is known as the "Brutal Blocker". 21-4, Beauties.
With 9 minutes remaning in the half, Rogue Kill is up against Bombshell co-captain Alkaline Trina. Rogue manages to get the first lead jam of the game. Rogue calls off the jam but her 4 points were answered by Trina making it now 25-8, Beauties. Sally Whacker then breaks outside very early in the jam and scores 8. Due to an adjustment, another 4 points are added to the Beauties score making it 37-8.
Ex-Bruiser Nacho Girlfriend would get into a jammer-fight with Celeste. After a little scuffle, the jam continues and Nacho outjams Celeste 5-2 slightly closing the margin. That small margin won't last for too long as in the next jam, Rogue Kill will come screaming through while Bombshell jammer Prima Donna rode the rear for most of the jam. 48-13, Beauties.
In a couple of fairly clean jams, Sally Whacker and Celeste would add another 5 and 9 points respectively while Joja Peach was able to break but not score. Nacho would come back in the last jam to add another point for the Bombshells. Score at the half, 62-14.
The first half consisted of pretty much clean jams.
SECOND HALF
The second half would start with the AZDD jamming debut of ex-Bruiser Nurse Ratchet and she gives the Beauty fans something to celebrate about, a 12 point jam over Alkaline Trina. In the next jam, Beauty captain Kamikaze Kiwi was covering Bombshell jammer and team captain, Gabrihella Gauntlet very well while Rogue Kill gets the lead jam, scores 4 and calls it off. It's now 78-14, Beauties. Then for the Beauties, Mami Chula would break through passing Rough Rider, getting lead jam and then would fly down the inside on one skate just to stay in-bounds and manages to pick up a 10 point jam to Hippies Revenge could not break. 88-14, Beauties.
The 4th jam would pit Nurse Ratchet against Prima Donna. Very early in the jam, Red Rocker gives veteran skater Jugger Naughty a "welcome back" present by humping her on the backstretch. A ref collision in turn 2 would eventually end the jam but damage was done. Prima Donna outscores Ratchet 5-3 thus slightly narrowing the margin to 72 points. It's now 91-19, Beauties.
In a somewhat comical moment in the game, jammer Joja Peach grabs Celeste's trademark hair ribbons. Obviously, this made Celeste a little upset and derby fans in turns 3 and 4 were treated to Celeste trying to get her ribbons back. Rogue Kill takes advantage of the moment and scores 8. The margin is now at 80, 99-19, Beauties. Confusion entailed in the next jam as when the jammer whistle was blown, Hippies Revenge stopped mid-jam and seemed to be confused or concerned about something. The jam was called by the refs. No explanation was given to the fans (or none that we could hear).
In a sudden burst of mysterious power, the Bombshells would start making a comeback to try to at least narrow the margin. In the "do-over" of the last bout, only three Beauties were on the track for a portion of the jam. This lead to Hippies Revenge taking advantage of the moment and giving the Bombshells their first two-handed jam of the night by scoring 10. Rogue Kill would then come back with a vengence in the next jam by scoring 15 points thanks in part to a great leg-whip by Celeste. Long time Derby Dame Phyllis Killer would then come to the like for the Pinks and picks up 5 points over Gabi's 2. Then, Nurse Ratchet would slick the inside line to score some of her 8 points on that jam. Hippie's Revenge would pick up 3 on that jam. 127-38, Beauties (89 point margin).
The second to the last jam gave me the impression that some thought it was the final jam. We had several extended take downs including Heidi Salami vs. Nacho Girlfriend, Jugger Naughty vs. Mami Chula and additional ones on the frontstretch and turn 2. Despite that, the jamming was out in full force and both Heidi Salami and Prima Donna managed to score 11. 138-49, Beauties.
In what seems like a Brutal Beauties tradition, Red Rocker is sent to the jammer line for the pinks. She goes up against Joja Peach. After a false start that almost happened, several of the Beauty skaters are involved in a dog pile. Rocker continues to jam for awhile and eventually joins the group. Joja took advantage of that major opportunity to score some additional points. With many of the Beauties in "easy target to score by" mode, the rookie was able to get 17 points, the best jam in this bout.
Final score 140-66, Brutal Beauties. Beauties win by 74. With this win, the Brutal Beauties clinch the first place seed and will play the loser of the Scrappers vs. Brides bout in September.
BRUTAL BEAUTIES
JAMMERS (points): Rogue Kill (47), Sally Whacker (24), Nurst Ratchet (23), Celeste (18), Heidi Salami (11), Mami Chula (10), Phyllis Killer (5), Red Rocker (2).
ALSO SKATING: Boutin, Brighteyes, Kamikaze Kiwi, Madam, Marci De Sade, Sharon Fists, Shawnee Rotten.
BOMBSHELLS
JAMMERS (points): Prima Donna (17), Joja Peach (17), Hippies Revenge (13), Nacho Girlfriend (10), Alkaline Trina (8), Gabrihella Gauntlet (2).
ALSO SKATING: Evol Starr, Hellvis Presley, Jugger Naughty, Kestha Floor, Onyx, Pocket Beaner, Rough Rider, Sho'nuff.
(Stats are unofficial based on video and eyewitness accounts of the game.)
SCHOOL YARD SCRAPPERS VS. RUNAWAY BRIDES
This is a very important bout as it will determine the positioning of the second and third place teams. The winner of this bout will go on to play the Coffin Draggers in the Semi-finals while the loser will have to face the undefeated Brutal Beauties and beat them in order to have any hopes for winning the championship. In this bout, the Brides introduce a black uniform shirt as not to clash with the traditional Scrapper white school shirts. The Scrappers welcome their new skaters Hillary Skank, Pretty Plz and two ex-Arizona Bruisers, Cruella DeMille and Mizz Nashty. The Brides bring on several new skaters Killin Mae Smallz and Cori, who has not had their skate name approved yet. Her uniform reads "TBD #1" we will refer to her as just "TBD", which according to Bride captain Ann Thrash may become her permanent name if it sticks.
FIRST HALF
The first half starts with Perfecta Kill for the Scrappers against Vanessa Velocity. Vanessa manages to get lead jam, picks up a couple of points and calls it off. 2-1, Brides.
In the second jam, we see the debut of TBD as a jammer for the Brides as well as the jamming debut of former Arizona Bruiser jammer Mizz Nashty. Nash's jamming debut was overshadowed by teammate and fan favorite Rollie Frijole going down on the backstretch. The refs eventually stop the jam as Scrapper captain Rowdy Roulette speeds over to tend to her. After getting her skates off, she tries to stand up and collapses. She is eventually carried off the rink to applause from not just the "Rollie Frijole section" but from the entire Castle. Multiple reports to the AZDR post-game state that Rollie has a torn ACL. We wish her a speedy recovery and hope she can come back to derby someday. Before the jam was called, TBD was able to pick up 5 points. 7-1, Brides.
Both teams manage to hold the margin pretty close in the next several jams. In the third jam, Rowdy picks up 2 points while Lex Mosh picks up 4, both jammers take spills on different parts of the track along the way. With Perfecta Kill going against Mighty Menace, the Menace was downed by Kat Von Double D while Perfecta breaks the pack. Perfecta picks up 5 while Menace manages to pick up 4. 15-8, Brides.
Despite the incident that took place during her debut jam, Mizz Nashty goes to the line again, this time against Skatish Bagfights. Nash manages to get lead jam and calls it off as Skatish starts scoring points. Skatish was still able to get 3. Mizz Nashty stays in for the next jam against another Bride ace jammer, Vanessa Velocity. This time Vanessa gets the lead jam. Lolo is hit hard into turn 3. Vanessa calls of the jam as Nashty approaches the pack. Each skater scores one. 19-9, Brides.
Both teams are still holding the margin and the Scrappers stay within one great jam of taking a lead on the Brides. In the next jam, Rowdy Roulette takes the line against TBD and scores 3 to TBD's 2 points. During the jam, Dee Tox gives Hillary Skank a push in the back in turn 3. The turn 3 penalty ref called her but she did not appear to leave for the box. Perfecta Kill would eventually close the margin slighly by scoring 5 over Lex Mosh with 4 in a fairly clean jam.
Mizz Nashty comes back to the line, this time against Mighty Menace. Nash breaks and does not manage to score. The Menace picks up 7. After the jam, Lolo comes out of the backstretch and charges at Vanessa Velocity. After this extended takedown in the upper infield, Lolo is sent to the box. Mighty Menace's 7 point jam widens the margin to 15 points, the widest in this whole game. Rowdy would go up against Skatish Bagfights. Rowdy would get lead jam and both jammers end up scoring 4 points maintaining the margin. 36-21, Brides.
The Scrappers would make a huge comeback in the next jam as Perfecta Kill sweeps Vanessa Velocity by scoring 9 points. Prior to that jam beginning, Lolo comes up as a blocker in this jam. For whatever reason, she was ejected for the rest of the half. In the final jam of the half, Mizz Nashty would manage to score 4 and TBD would pick up 5. Fawn Del Mee and TBD would be involved in a post-jam extended take down.
Score at the half, 41 to 34, Runaway Brides.
SECOND HALF
The second half would begin with Perfecta Kill going against Vanessa Velocity. In a pretty clean jam, both teams score 2 and hold the margin. The next bout would pit Mizz Nashty against TBD again. Nash picks up the lead jam and she gets her first extended take down at the hands of Ann Thrash. Nash eventually gets up and calls the jam. Some of the skaters kept going until the scoreboard buzzer stopped them. When the dust settled, TBD would sweep Nashty by picking up 6. 49-36, Brides.
Rowdy manages to get lead jam and score while Hate'cha Face and Fawn Del Mee double team on Lex Mosh keeping her from breaking. The next jam would send Perfecta Kill to the line against Mighty Meance. Perfecta would find herself in turn 4 in an extended take down with no other than Ann Thrash. Perfecta Kill is sent to the box but solo jammer Mighty Menace was not able to pick up any points. The fifth jam was a golden opportunity for the ruffled girls to widen the margin again as Ska Tish Bagfights is out jamming solo. She manages to score 1 point. Pretty Plz lands a nice hit on Ann Thrash to help her jammer Rowdy Roulette through. The Brides' Vanessa Velocity manages to pick up 2. 52-40, Brides.
TBD does a nice break on the inside and it nets her 4 points to Perfecta Kill's 2. 56-42, Brides.
The 7th time is a charm and Mizz Nashty is unleashed and shows signs of her old Bruiser day. Nash picks up lead jam and takes a 9 point jam, some by squeezing through Bride blocker and team-captain Ann Thrash. Nash helps close the margin very close to 5. 56-51, Brides.
The Scrappers brings veteran skater Hot Head Lucy. She gets swept by DeeTox and Lucy goes down in turn 2. Menace picks up 4. Then in a clean jam, Ska Tish Bagfights gets 5 more points to widen the margin.
Final jam and Mizz Nashty is given one more time. The Scrappers are 11 points down. She gets 2 points to Vanessa Velocity's 3. After the bout, the two team captains (Rowdy Roulette and Ann Thrash) do an extended takedown.
Final score, 66-54, Brides.
SCHOOL YARD SCRAPPERS
JAMMERS (points): Perfecta Kill (25), Mizz Nashty (16), Rowdy Roulette (13), Hot Head Lucy (0).
ALSO SKATING: Cruella DeMille, Fawn Del Mee, Frankie Fitz, Hate'cha Face, Kat Von Double D, Lolo, Pretty Plz, Rollie Frijole.
RUNAWAY BRIDES
JAMMERS (points): TBD (22), Mighty Menace (13), Ska Tish Bagfights (13), Vanessa Velocity (10), Lex Mosh (8).
ALSO SKATING: A. Malicious, Ann Thrash, Dee Tox, Dirty Martini, Gwen Steponya, Killin Mae Smallz.
With the Brides win over the Scrappers, the stage has been set for the semi-finals on September 20. The (1) Brutal Beauties will take on the (3) School Yard Scrappers and the (2) Runaway Brides will take on the (4) Coffin Draggers. The winners of these two bouts will play each other on October 11 for the AZDD Championship.
In the meantime, the AZDD travel team, the Lady Lux will be playing a Rollercon scrimmage against the Silicon Valley Rollergirls on August 1 and then a team to be announced at the Castle in Phoenix on Saturday, August 23.
THE ARIZONA DERBY REPORT
Michelle A. Eyre/Michi-chan
http://www.michichan.com
Restored from MCRSP records, December 4, 2025.
