Arizona Roller Derby finished out 2008 with a very fun bout. This bout was their annual holiday charity event which benefits the Arizona Law Enforcement and Fire Emerald Society, a statewide organization that supports first responders and their families.
Both teams took on different themes of first responders and some took on alter identities for tonight's fun event. The Hose Draggers was themed after fire fighters. This team included Diana Saurus Wrexx as captain along with Psycho Sybil (as Sybil Disobedience), Diabolique, Rayna Rage (as Rayna Fire), Certified Luna Chick, Loco Lena, Rum Bunctious (as Hot Rumba) and others. The Street Beaters was a police themed team with Shirley Demise as captain and her posse for the night Chachi Patron (as Rosa Palma), Messy Missy, Jugs Bunny, Shedonist, Bonesetter and others.
Despite the heavy promotion being done by both AZRD and Michi-chan's REAL Derby, any expected grudge match between Hose Dragger Holly Would and Street Beater Messy Missy would not take place as Holly Wood fell ill prior to the bout and did not skate.
Sick Girl as well as French Lyck who was in her traditional holiday wrapping skirt announced the event.
The first jam pits Street Beater Shirley Demise against "Fire Crotch" (Gratutious Violet) of the Hose Draggers. Shirley would pick up the lead jam, picks up 2 points and calls it off. The Beaters would dominate the first 4 jams by picking up lead jam with jammers Officer (Shirley) Demise, Domiskatrix, Bone Setter and Cut Throat. In the 5th jam, Beater jammer The Siren would take a nice ride over the back of Dragger jammer Sticky Fingers. The refs call off this jam early and call a time out. So far, the game has been fairly low scoring with the Beaters up 12-6. Fire Crotch would pick up the first Dragger lead jam against Domiskatrix, 14-7 Beaters.
About midway into the period is when the fun begins. All of the referees are sent to the penalty box. The skaters are all alone out there with no one but a jam timer free to do whatever they want out there. Other than just some graceful dancing by Bone Setter and one of her willing opponents. Then the Beaters engage in a game of "pass the star" by flinging the jammer helmet panty back and forth between their skaters. The panty would eventually hit the ground and get picked up by a Hose Dragger. The Hose Draggers would close in on the lead but the Street Beaters are still out there 16-13.
With 17 minutes remaining, the refs are allowed out of their box and it's time to get serious again. Raina Fire up against Cut Throat KC. While Raina was trying to break on the outside, KC would sneak through and pick up the lead jam. KC calls after both jammers do some significant damage and Raina closes the gap to one point, 19-18 Beaters. With Diana Saurus Wrexx gamming against Domiskatrix, Diana would pick up the lead jam for the Hose Draggers and with 14:29 remaining in the period, we have a tie score 20-20. Fire Crotch would come up against Bone Setter. Bone Setter would go to the box for minors and Fire Crotch would do some damage. Hose Draggers get the lead for the first time, 25-20. The margin would widen for Hose Draggers but as we got close to the end of the period, the Beaters would start closing in. With 4 minutes remaining and the score 36-34 Draggers, Domiskatrix would go up against Diana Saurus Wrexx. Diana would slightly stumble but hangs on for a lead jam. Domiskatrix would break through not far behind. Diana would pick up 2 and call. 38-34, Draggers. In the second to last jam of the period, The Siren would take a pretty nasty stumble over Raina Fire in turn-2, Messy Missy goes to the box. The Street Beaters would take back the lead 48-38 as we go into the final jam. Sticky Fingers and Fire Crotch would go to the line and skate the final jam for the full two minutes. Score at the half, 48-38 Street Beaters.
If you thought a few jams of the first period was going to be all the fun, just wait for the halftime show. A few fun events were done. And they were done for points!
For the first time in awhile, the little red wagons were brought out for a classic AZRD wagon race (also known in some leagues as "Radio Flyer"). Two fans were chosen to ride in the wagons. Commanding the wagons will be Sybil Disobedience (Psycho Sybil) for the Hose Draggers and Officer (Shirley) Demise for the Street Beaters. Both skaters and their wagons get off to a good start but Shirley's wagon gets away from her in turn-2. Sybil successfully makes the first lap while Shirley's wagon tips sending her fan screaming as she flys off the wagon. Sybil loses her fan in turn-2. Sybil would bring her wagon (with fan) to victory in the second lap while Shirley was still huffing on the backstretch.
The halftime would continue with a no rules match race that would pit Patty Waggin' on the Street Beaters against Loco Lena of the Hose Draggers. Despite some track cutting by both skaters and a little physical contact, the Hose Draggers prevailed.
Finally, fans were treated to a modified version of Queen of the Rink, a practice ritual that fans rarely ever see. Normally, in Queen of the Rink, skaters try to take each other out and the last one standing is Queen of the Rink. In this modified version, it's whichever team still has skaters standing in the end would be declared the Queen of the Rink and will get 5 points added to their score. The Street Beaters would line up at the pivot line and the Hose Draggers would line up at the jammer line. The match would boil down to a single Hose Dragger, Diabolique still standing but having to face 5 standing Street Beaters. She would eventually get pushed out in turn-3 giving the Beaters the 5 points.
In the halftime fun period, the Draggers would pick up 7 points and the Beaters would pick up 5. Revised half time score, 53-45 Beaters. The half time ceremonies would end with a nice dance number by Diabolique and some big ticket raffle items.
In the first jam of the second half, Cut Throat KC would take on Loco Lena. Cut Throat would pick up the lead jam. Loco Lena would get worked on very hard by pivot Bone Setter and after a little shoulder hit on the backstretch, Loco breaks late. KC eventually calls it off. After that jam and then another with Officer Demise, the Street Beaters take a commanding lead, 70-45. In the next jam, Fire Crotch manages to lap the pack and pick up 4 more, 70-49 Beaters. Then, Hose Dragger Raina Fire screams like a reign of fire through the pack, flying around the track then runs into trouble on her next pass through the pack. She manages to pick up two. 70-51 Beaters.
The two team captains would come to the line. Officer Demise would pick up the lead jam for the Beaters then Diana would get blown to the box. Shirley would get caught up with Fire Crotch in turn-3 and would call it off. But despite that, damage was done. 77-51 Beaters. Frenchie then announces that the next jam will be a reverse jam (skating in the clockwise direction) but first, the Draggers go on a penalty spree taking out their jammer and two blockers giving the Beaters a 5 on 2 advantage. With 16 minutes remaining, the Dragger point drought continues while the Beaters continue to rack up, 89-51.
Now it's time for some more fun! This time, a reverse jam. Skaters will now go in the clockwise direction. While reverse skating is practiced, reverse jams are hardly ever done. Diana Saurus Wrexx would take on Officer Demise. Demise would pick up (reverse) lead jam and then take a spill in turn-4 (in the real world, turn-1). No one scored on the reverse jam.
The Street Beaters break the century mark with a solo jam by Cut Throat KC as the Beaters really widen the margin 105-62 with 6 minutes remaining. The next jam would be a solo for the Hose Draggers and it's Loco Lena. Loco Lena would take a spill in turn 4 with Messy Missy but then would eventually break through for a lead jam.
Another reverse jam. This time, Certified Luna Chick be jamming for the Hose Draggers and Domiskatrix for the Street Beaters. Certified Luna Chick would pick up the lead jam. Domiskatrix takes a wild ride in real-world turn-4 but keeps her balance. 108-66 Beaters with 4:51 remaining.
With over 3 minutes remaining, the Hose Draggers send Joby Wan N Only to the line against the Beaters team captain. Joby breaks through very clean for a nice lead jam but Shirley Demise was riding right on her. 112-80 going into the final jam. The final jam will bring up Messy Missy for the Street Beaters against Fire Crotch for the Hose Draggers. Both jammers break through together but it was Fire Crotch out first so she pick up the lead jam but Messy Missy stays right with her. Missy gets knocked out into turn-4 by Diana Saurus Wrexx slowing down the Beaters widening of the margin. With a slow moving pack, the jam and the bout would end with the Street Beaters over the Hose Draggers, 115-88.
This bout was definitely a treat for the fans, the skaters and most importantly, raised money and awareness for a good cause.
AZRD announced a travel team bout between the Tent City Terrors and the San Diego Derby Dolls Wildfires to be held at the Castle Sports Club on January 24, 2009. Michi-chan Derby Love Tour schedule for 2009 is still tentative at this time. We will try to make it.
More about the charity bout and AZRD on this Wednesday's MICHI ON ARIZONA DERBY!
Thank you to AZRD for allowing our cameras in for the first time this season to cover this bout.
ROSTERS
HOSE DRAGGERS: Diana Saurus Wrexx (C) 5 // Hot Rumba (RUM Bunctious) "R" // Firecrotch (Gratuitous Violet) 142 // Sybil Disobedience (Psycho Sybil) 420 // Rayna Fire (Rayna Rage) 3 // Boxcar Bethy // Holly Would 411 (did not skate) // Yellow Fever // Diabolique 21 // Lace Oddity 79 // Sauce Box 9 // Joby Wan N ONLY // Certified Luna Chick 10
STREET BEATERS: Officer Demise (C) 26 // Sweet Candy Cannons // Gate Fever 187 // Rosa Palma (Chachi Patron) V8 // Dutch Bag // Messy Missy 57 // Jugs Bunny 36D // Sticky Fingers (Shedonist) 5 // Sweet Rookie Mustache 505 // Bonesetter 206 // Cut Throat KC // Domiskatrix Cat O'9 Tails // Patty Waggin' 505 // Shirley Demise 25 // Bail Bond Bunny 877-96-LEGAL // Bea Naughty 27 // The Siren 327
Recovered from MCRSP records, December 4, 2025.
